Clean Beauty for Tweens and Teens

It’s been about eight years since I started the process of removing chemicals from my home and beauty products. Beauty was one of the last things I switched because I felt like it was a big expense but my mom’s cancer diagnosis and learning the things I could do to prevent it was a big motivator for me. I’ve learned a lot in the last seven years and have slowly made the switch. I can’t control genetics or biology. But what I can control is my home environment, food and what we use on our bodies.

Rilyn is almost 11 and has entered into a new stage of really caring about what she looks like. She wants the smelly bath soap, hair styling products and, recently, makeup. I want to get her started on the right foot with clean, toxic-free products so I’ve been on the hunt.

If you’ve never used EWG’s Skin Deep database, I HIGHLY recommend checking out your favorite products. It rates them on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the best and 10 being the worst for you as far as ingredients go. They also have products that are EWG Verified which are the absolute safest for you. I like to stay within the “green” and always steer clear of “fragrance”. Sometimes, a product will rate “green” but still has ingredients I’m not comfortable with. Do your research and make a decision based on your comfort level.

A set of these products in a bag (like this for guys or this for girls with a set of brushes) would be a great gift for your tween or teen! Here are a breakdown of the brands and the products they have that your tween or teen would love!

C’EST MOI

This brand tweens will love because of the bright colorful packaging, while I love they have so many EWG certified products. Here are some of my favorite products:

Vanilla Vibes Shimmer Lotion

Reflect Lip Gloss Trio Set

Vanilla Vibes Cleansing Body Wash

Refreshing Papaya and Strawberry Seed Facial Scrub

Glossay High Shine Lip Gloss

Envision Eyeshadow Palette

PACIFICA

Pacifica is 100% vegan and cruelty free. They have several EWG certified products, however many of their products don’t rate in the green level. It’s up to you for your comfort level in products. Here are my favorites and ones I feel comfortable with Rilyn using.

Most colorful eyeshadows rate very high on the toxic scale, but Pacifica’s eyeshadows rate in the green level and still offer some colors that tweens are drawn to!

Crystal Matrix Eyeshadow Palette

Beachy Punk Eyeshadow Palette

Pink Nudes Eyeshadow Palette

Stellar Gaze Length & Strength Mascara

SCHMIDT’S

If you are looking for deodorant, soap and body wash that both boys and girls would like, check out Schmidt’s! Unfortunately, many of their products contain fragrance. However, any of the white labeled deodorants do not. My favorite is Bergamot and Lime.

BEAUTYCOUNTER

Beautycounter has made a name for itself in clean beauty products and fighting for more legislation that would clean up the beauty industry. Some of their products don’t list in the green, however most all of their products rate very low or are EWG certified. Here are my favorite products for tweens and teens. I have the best Beautycounter rep, Maddy (Cory Kreitzer). She took over her mom’s business when she recently lost her battle with cancer.

Jellies – brights

Jellies – shimmers

Beyond Gloss

Dew Skin Tinted Moisturizer (a good start to foundation)

Counterman line (great for guys)

HONEST BEAUTY

Honest is a GREAT starter brand and very cost effective! They make my favorite mascara and blush. Not all of their products rate in the “green” on the EWG scale, so do your research and choose based on your comfort level.

Extreme Length Mascara and Lash Primer

Creme Cheek Blush

Eyeshadow Palette

Tinted lip balm

Let me know which products you’ll let your tween or teen try! Also, drop in the comments any other suggestions!

Among Us: A Parent’s Review and Why You Should Play

Remember the days of the group game Mafia? The game where the goal was to eliminate the mafia before the mafia eliminated the group?

The same concept has been made into a virtual game and your kids are probably playing it!

About the Game

Among Us has been around for a few years, however it has exploded in popularity in 2020. It is an online multiplayer game in which players are assigned one of two roles – Crewmate or Impostor. The Crewmates’ job is to identify the Impostors, eliminate them via group voting and complete tasks around the map. The Impostors’ goal is to secretly sabotage and kill the Crewmates before they complete all of their tasks. Crewmates win if all Impostors are eliminated or all tasks are completed. Impostors win if there is an equal number of Impostors and Crewmates or if a sabotage is not repaired by the Crewmates.

Why You Should Be Playing

Among Us has come up in multiple parent groups I’m a part of on Facebook. Mostly from concerned parents who don’t know anything about the game and wonder if they should be allowing their kids to play. I have to admit I’ve been one of those parents. I didn’t know anything about the game and was noticing how much my kids were playing and using new terminology like “That’s sus” and “gg”.

Our kids have been asking us to play, which we’ve been putting off, until last night. Here’s what I learned in playing Among Us with my kids and why I think you should play, too!

First, I learned that if I don’t know about something my kids are playing or doing, the best tactic is to ask them to teach me. Playing the game allowed me to experience the game and figure out if this was something I was ok with them playing. If I hadn’t played, I wouldn’t have known if there were things I don’t want them exposed to. Before I played, I didn’t know what they meant when they said “Oh they’re so sus!” (By the way, that means suspicious.)

I had seen many parents concerned about the chat feature, which was also a concern of mine. Playing allowed me to see how the feature was used and, for me, after playing it became less of a concern. Can the chat feature be misused? Absolutely. My daughter has mentioned people have used words we wouldn’t use in our house. But as for the concern that people would prey on my kids, that fear was alleviated after playing. The chat feature is only allowed as people are waiting for others to join and only during certain times in play.

If after playing, something was concerning to me, I feel like the fact that I had played gives me some credibility. It also gives me terminology to use in talking with them about it.

The second reason I think you should play is if you do decide to let your kids play, I think you’ll find it’s great family time! My kids loved teaching us how to play! There was definitely a learning curve for Matt and I but eventually we figured it out and had a lot of fun together. My kids enjoy playing with friends and FaceTiming while they play, so Matt and I were playing with several of their friends, too.

When we were putting our kids to bed, my son said “That was so much fun tonight!” I loved hearing that! Often times, virtual games can pull our kids away, but when we play together, it allows us a shared experience!

Do I think the game is for everyone? Nope! That’s your call! But I think making an informed decision is better than making a decision based off the unknown. Some parents may not be ok with elements of the game. And that is perfectly fine! Playing will give you insight into whether it’s good for your family! I think this goes for a lot of things – video games, TikTok, YouTube channels, etc. Jumping on and checking it out can help us make informed decisions for our kids.

Start A Conversation

Here are some questions you can ask your child to start a conversation about Among Us.

What do you enjoy about playing Among Us?
Is there anything that makes you feel uncomfortable?
Help me understand how the game works.
Will you show me how to play?
What does [sus, gg, vented, tasks] mean?

Oceans: A Parent’s Prayer

Early this morning, before everyone else was awake, I was having my quiet time. I turned on some worship music and I was journaling out my prayers and I got to a point that I was praying for my children. 2020 has brought new parenting challenges with homeschooling, friendships, racism, politics and other social issues.

I wrote, “Lord, I pray that you would give them your wisdom and discernment. I pray that you would strengthen their faith and trust in you and that it would be greater than the pull of the world. May their faith become their own and not ours.”

As I was journaling these prayers, the thought crossed my mind that 30 years ago, my mom was sitting in her quiet time, praying these same things over me and my siblings. And yet, some of my siblings have chosen to walk away from the Christian faith. “Praying for them doesn’t ensure anything,” was whispering in my head. I started getting overwhelmed with the future and everything that my children could face or choose.

In that moment, “Oceans” by Hillsong United began playing. A song that has meant so much to us in our transitions and moves. But today, I heard the words differently. I listened to them from a parent’s point of view and it brought peace and perspective.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail

Parenting is nothing but the unknown. There are no manuals and each child is different. Rilyn, being our oldest, is the trailblazer into parenting. Every stage is new for us and brings challenges we’ve never had to deal with so we are winging it the best we can. But just because we’ve dealt with something with Rilyn, doesn’t mean what we’ve learned will necessarily apply to Landon because he is so different from her. What may have worked with her doesn’t work for him. And then there’s the different stages of sending them off – to Kindergarten, to middle school, to high school and off to college. Each one is new and unknown.

And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

“God wanted his people throughout the world to know the glorious riches of this mystery–which is Christ living in you, giving you the hope of glory.” (Colossians 1:27) No matter what we face, no matter the struggle we have Christ living in us. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us. We can stand firm in that even when we are standing on shaky ground.

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves

This is key in parenting as Christians. We need to constantly be calling upon the name of Jesus to give us wisdom, discernment, empathy and compassion. When the waves of uncertainty or hard things begin to crash around us, we must keep our eyes on Jesus. I think this is also important for our kids learning to make their faith their own. When they see us leaning on Jesus and seeking him out, they learn to do that themselves.

When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace

My mom often quotes Jennifer Rothschild when she says, “It may not be well with my circumstances, but it is well with my soul.” This is what hope in Jesus looks like! Jesus never promises easy. Jesus never promises we won’t face pain. But he does promise peace. He does promise joy. He does promise rest and hope. It is possible to experience pain and peace. Suffering and strength. Heartache and hope.

Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide

This is where spending time in the Bible and prayer is so important! God shows us how to live with wisdom and discernment. He teaches us how to treat our children and others. The Bible is full of wisdom and practical applications. We just need to spend time reading it to know God’s heart! The Bible app is a great resource and has lots of great studies and devotionals. My mom’s book No More Perfect Moms has a study on the Bible app. Another good place to start is reading a chapter of Proverbs each day. Whatever day of the month it is, read that chapter. Or read through Luke to learn more about Jesus.

You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

This line is what gives me so much hope! God has never failed. He’s the creator of all things and triumphs over all hardships. Yes, bad things happen but that’s part of living in a fallen world. That’s not because of God’s character.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

We need to rely on the Holy Spirit as we walk through the challenges and unknowns of parenting our children. Trusting that God loves our children more than we can, which is so hard to imagine! Often times, we are prompted to say “Yes” to something that may seem impossible on our own – but that’s exactly what we need sometimes! Because it’s when we can’t do it on our own that God’s glory is made known!

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger

I think this is the most daring prayer and, to be honest, one I’m scared to pray at times. As a 6 on the enneagram, I make decisions based on safety. I think of all of the possible outcomes and choose the safest one. Praying “take me deeper than my feet could ever wander” takes courage. Moving into territory that I may not be able to control takes trust. Trusting in the One who has all things under control. And that’s exactly what we do as parents. We send them off into life, hoping they make good friends and make good choices. When we face difficult or overwhelming situations, we have two choices: trust that God is in control and his goodness will prevail or try to manage it all in our own strength. Our faith has the opportunity to grow stronger in those times.

I am Yours and You are mine

This truth is most important. Our children’s choices are not a reflection of who we are. We are children of God first and foremost. That is where our identity rests. It’s important that we not take their choices personally. Does that mean we don’t redirect or discipline? Absolutely not! But when correction is called for, it’s more about their character and not about how it made us feel or look as parents.

This song caused my prayer time to move from a place of anxiety and fear of what is to come to a place of peace, trust and hope. It gave me fresh perspective about parenting with purpose and I hope it does the same for you!

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This Is What Depression Can Look Like

Depression is real. Especially in 2020. This may seem odd that I am breaking my [long] blogging hiatus with such a serious post, however I think it’s so important that people know they are not alone.

A month ago, I shared some of my story with depression this year on my social media. I had someone reach out to me and express that they had no idea I was struggling because I always seemed fine around them. Which is understandable, as all the photos in this post were taken at my lowest point.

I share this because I think it’s important that people know that depression looks different for every person. Everyone handles their depression in different ways and it’s so important that we have empathy and care for others. Someone may be really good at putting on a smile or doing “regular” activities but inside they are barely getting by. At least this was my experience.

It’s more than having a few bad days. It’s a diagnosable mental illness with changes in mood, behaviors and thoughts over a period of time. Every person is different and will experience it with different intensities or symptoms. The brain actually changes both physically and chemically when someone is experiencing depression. Everything from relationships to work and productivity are effected by depression.

According to Mayo Clinic, here are common symptoms of depression:

Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities
Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

If you are experiencing depression, please make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible! If you have a loved and you’re noticing some of these symptoms, I’d encourage you to reach out to them and genuinely check in on them consistently. Encourage them to seek out medical advice from their doctor. Sometimes people on the outside can notice changes before the person realizes there’s a problem. Often, my husband will notice my agitation before I recognize I’m agitated.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month. I think it’s important to distinguish that depression does not necessarily mean suicidal. I have struggled with depression for 20 years and have had suicidal thoughts twice in that time. Just because you may not be experiencing these thoughts does not mean you shouldn’t seek medical attention. However, suicidal thoughts or ideation can come on suddenly so I think it’s important to address.

The first time I experienced those thoughts was about 4 or 5 years ago and my husband and I suffered for the most part privately. I did not have a good psychiatrist at the time and he did not take me seriously. Two months ago, I experienced the hopelessness again and this time I was extremely grateful for my family and my counselor who took the situation very seriously and advocated for me. Our support system was much greater.

The lies that I was a detriment to my family and that I was never going to get better reverberated through my whole being. The hard part of depression is that it’s often not possible to think logically or rationally. Physically and mentally it may not be possible, which is why having a true support system is so important.

If you are experiencing any of these thoughts or emotions, TELL SOMEONE. Do not go through this alone!

Call your doctor
Call a suicide hotline number — in the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). Use that same number and press “1” to reach the Veterans Crisis Line.
Reach out to a close friend or loved one.
Contact a minister, spiritual leader or someone else in your faith community.

For me, swift changes in medication, supportive friends and family and consistent counseling are what got me through.

I love the #BeThe1To campaign which encourages all of us to check in on people and ask the hard questions. Don’t be afraid to go there!

Here are some resources that have helped me in my mental health journey:

Fully Alive by Susie Larson

Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen

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My New Favorite CLEAN Makeup

For years, I have been on a journey to remove chemicals from my home. It all started with learning how to clean my home with vinegar and baking soda at MOPS when my kids were little.

In 2013, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and I became much more passionate about removing toxins from our house. While my family has tested negative for BRCA, it still runs in our family for the last three generations.

To date, I use all natural products in cleaning (Norwex) and doing our laundry. We eat whole foods, eating organic when we can. I switched out our shampoo and conditioner and we use mineral deoderant.

Up until recently, I had switched everything except my makeup. I felt like it was too expensive to make the switch. But my face started breaking out and felt so dry and I couldn’t find clean moisturizers that really moisturized and didn’t dry me out by days end.

My mom introduced me to Annmarie Skin Care line and I was hooked after one day. It’s oil-based makeup so my skin feels so good and it lasts all day! You might be thinking, “Oil?! For my face?!” Yes! It really does clean and moisturize skin. I absolutely love their mineral foundation. It moisturizes my face while providing great coverage. You actually mix the mineral powder and oil together before applying, so you can decide how heavy you want your coverage to be. I feel like it softens my skin tone, covering up blemishes and moisturizing my skin at the same time. And I feel great about what I’m putting on my skin!

As far as cancer is concerned, I can’t control genetics or biology. But what I can control is my home environment, food and what we use on our bodies. If you’re looking to make a switch to clean, all natural makeup, then I would highly suggest you check out Annmarie.

Friendship Takes Time

I began attending MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) when Rilyn was six months old. I really didn’t have any “mom” friends and was craving same season friendship. My mom was going to be speaking at a local MOPS group in a few months and I wanted to attend incognito for a while. I wanted them to know me for me and not for who my mom was. I was the only one with an infant at my assigned table and so at times I felt like I didn’t belong. I questioned whether or not I should continue to attend, as I didn’t seem to have much in common with these women because our children were in different stages of life. I decided to stick it out, and as the year continued I learned a lot from these women but never found a connection of friendship.

It took me three years to find my Strawberry Pink girls. Our table just clicked, all eleven of us. We shared tears, laughter, struggles, and encouragement. We rallied around the friend whose husband was deployed, encouraged the friend whose husband was living and working in a different state, and supported the friend whose son was killed in an accident. We prayed for one another, played in each other’s homes, and had girls night outs together. These friends held me up when my dad went through a midlife crisis and left for a few months. I had never experienced friendship like this and was relishing in it.

The following year, I moved away and was brokenhearted to leave these dear friends I had made. Facebook has been great in keeping us connected, and several of us make attending the Hearts at Home conference our annual reunion. I am so grateful I stuck it out with MOPS even when I wasn’t initially getting the deep connection I desired. I’ve learned that connection takes time. In our “instant” society, we are often inclined to believe that great friendship happens just as fast as “Confirm” is pressed on a Facebook friend request. That’s not the way it is in real life. Friendships take time to find and nurture. Then once we connect, it’s both the highs and lows of life that make us better together.

How about you? Have you given up too easily when you didn’t find instant connection with a group?

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More Than Potato Soup – Daycare Kid Approved!

There’s nothing more comforting than a good warm bowl of potato soup. When we first started Whole30, potatoes weren’t allowed (they are now). At the time I was excited to discover this recipe for Baked (not) Potato Soup. While it was tasty, there is just nothing like real potatoes in my opinion. So when we were done with our Whole30, I tweaked the recipe and added even more veggies. As I was typing in this recipe I realized how different it is from the original recipe. This is daycare-kid approved! Yesterday, every kid finished their bowl and half asked for seconds. I’ll take that as a resounding “Yum!”…there’s no need to tell them they ate five different vegetables.

More Than Potato Soup

2016-09-22 20:14:44

A delicious soup filled with veggies!

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Ingredients

10 oz. bacon, diced (We use Naked Bacon brand)
6-8 potatoes, diced (I peel half of them to keep the soup white -- it's a personal preference)
1 yellow onion, diced
1/2 head cauliflower, cut into small florets (or 1 bag frozen cauliflower)
1 large turnip, peeled and diced
1 large parsnip, peeled and diced
3 cloves garlic
4 cups stock (we use sugar-free vegetable stock)
salt, to taste
1/2 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. italian seasoning

Instructions

In a stockpot, fry the bacon until crispy. With a slotted spoon, remove bacon bits into separate bowl.
Pour off bacon fat until 2 tablespoons are left in the pot.
Saute 1/2 diced (peeled) potatoes, onion, cauliflower, turnip, parsnip and garlic in the bacon fat until soft, stirring frequently.
Pour in the stock, stir, bring to a boil over high heat.
After it comes to a boil, turn down to a simmer for 5 minutes.
With an immersion blender, puree until smooth (or use a regular blender in batches).
Add the remaining potatoes, salt, chili powder and Italian seasoning, continue to simmer until potatoes are fork tender, about 20 minutes.
Serve topped with the bacon.

By Anne McClane

Adapted from Paleo Parents

Everyday Small Things //everydaysmallthings.com/

A Look Back At Our First Year Homeschooling

What a year this has been! We made it through our first year homeschooling in the midst of running a home daycare and publishing a book. Sounds crazy, I know. I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now, but I was busy with, you know, homeschooling and running a daycare. 😉

The number one question we get is “How do you homeschool while running a daycare?” I think usually people are asking for the practical response but I think there’s also a philosophical piece that is important. It stems back to our approach on learning. One of the reasons we chose to homeschool is the opportunity for more relaxed learning through play and life. Looking back, I think one thing I did really well was having a laid-back attitude. If we were able to fit in some structured learning, great! If the kids were playing especially well for the day, let them keep playing! If the kids were curious about something, we’d explore that more. I would say we fit more into the “Relaxed Homeschool” approach.

On a more practical side, this is how we made homeschooling work for us while running a home daycare:

We did a lot of learning together. For instance, we’ve been learning about each state. Because of a trip to Florida, we learned about the ocean. If the daycare kids were interested, we did it all together. Reading aloud can be done with everyone.
We do “Rest Time” every day and most of the kids take a 1-2 hour nap during this time. This has been utilized as a more personal learning time in which we worked on math and writing.
We homeschool year round. This allows for flexibility in how often we sit down for structured learning.
Technology was a great tool in having to balance homeschool and daycare. Utilizing an online math program, and now a DVD program, removed lesson planning off my plate. All of my curriculum choices (aside from Science) were pretty much open and go. Very little prep required.

Here is the curriculum we used for Rilyn’s kindergarten year:

Math: MathSeeds.com and Math-U-See
Rilyn had no interest in the beginning of sitting down and learning from me. We first tried Kahn Academy which she really liked but it doesn’t read the questions to you, so it required me to sit and do it with her. MathSeeds.com allowed her to be introduced to math in a fun way while giving her the independence she desired. This summer, we started using Math-U-See (Alpha for Rilyn age 6 and Primer for Landon age 4). We really like it so far. It uses a block system and is mastery based. This allows Rilyn, who is a visual learner, to see how the math works but also master the concept before moving on. It also comes with a DVD that teaches each lesson.
Writing: Writeshop Primary Book – Teacher Guide
Rilyn has always loved making books and this was a great tool for helping her understand how to write about an idea. Most of the year, she would dictate her stories but she has started writing them on her own. We found no need to purchase the worksheet pack that they also sell. We did all of her writing in a storytelling journal like this.
Handwriting: A Reason for Handwriting
This provided a more focused opportunity to work on her handwriting.
Science: Zoology 2: Swimming Creatures of the Fifth Day
We took a road trip to Florida in May and so we wanted to learn about the ocean before we took this trip. Zoology 2 proved to be too advanced for my kids and so we eventually shelved it to be used sometime in the future. From what I’ve learned, it seems like Exploring Creation With Astronomy is more age appropriate.

It’s hard to summarize a year of homeschooling into one blog post, but it truly has been a great year. Hard? Yes. But well worth it!

2 Comments Homeschool - With The Kids

DIY Seek and Find

We are gearing up for a 12-hour road trip and I wanted to hop on here and share one of the things I’ll be packing up. They turned out so great and everything I used was found around the house!

This idea was found on one of my perusals on Pinterest for ideas on keeping kids busy on a road trip. I pulled together all kinds of foam stickers, beads and trinkets, took a picture of all of the items and put them in an old salsa jar (I always save them!). I then filled the rest with rice. Attaching a laminated photo of everything they could find in the bottle completed this super easy project!

This is a great little activity to have around the house and I’ll definitely save them for a future rainy day.

2 Comments DIY - With The Kids

Neighborhood Block Party

I think it’s safe to say spring weather is officially here to stay! Our neighborhood has started becoming active again with the sound of lawn mowers and friendly waves at people walking by. But let’s be honest, how well do you know the people you live by? In a world of garage door openers, its far too easy to pull into your garage, shut the door and never make any connections.

When a job change took us to a new city, we tried to make connections with our neighbors but we weren’t having much success aside from one or two of them. No one seemed interested in the act of neighboring. So we decided to take matters into our own hands and host a block party! We created an invitation and knocked on each door of the neighbors on our block to personally invite them.

I considered the block party a success when, out of twenty-five houses, we had eleven represented. We learned about one another’s families and learned a little bit of history about the neighborhood. Several of our neighbors have lived here for close to fifty years and they kept telling us how wonderful it was to get together and that no one had ever done anything like this. One neighbor even told me, “I’ve lived in my house for fifty years and I’ve never met any of my neighbors.”

Being intentional about fostering relationships in your neighborhood is a benefit for you and your neighbors! Have you ever considered hosting or organizing a block party? If not, I encourage you to put a date on the calendar right now. Matt and I decided to do it again this year, but instead of August, doing it in June to allow for more connections over the summer.

Something as simple as an intentional gathering of neighbors can make your neighborhood a better place to live.

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