Category Archives: Motherhood

Among Us: A Parent’s Review and Why You Should Play

Remember the days of the group game Mafia? The game where the goal was to eliminate the mafia before the mafia eliminated the group?

The same concept has been made into a virtual game and your kids are probably playing it!

About the Game

Among Us has been around for a few years, however it has exploded in popularity in 2020. It is an online multiplayer game in which players are assigned one of two roles – Crewmate or Impostor. The Crewmates’ job is to identify the Impostors, eliminate them via group voting and complete tasks around the map. The Impostors’ goal is to secretly sabotage and kill the Crewmates before they complete all of their tasks. Crewmates win if all Impostors are eliminated or all tasks are completed. Impostors win if there is an equal number of Impostors and Crewmates or if a sabotage is not repaired by the Crewmates.

Why You Should Be Playing

Among Us has come up in multiple parent groups I’m a part of on Facebook. Mostly from concerned parents who don’t know anything about the game and wonder if they should be allowing their kids to play. I have to admit I’ve been one of those parents. I didn’t know anything about the game and was noticing how much my kids were playing and using new terminology like “That’s sus” and “gg”.

Our kids have been asking us to play, which we’ve been putting off, until last night. Here’s what I learned in playing Among Us with my kids and why I think you should play, too!

First, I learned that if I don’t know about something my kids are playing or doing, the best tactic is to ask them to teach me. Playing the game allowed me to experience the game and figure out if this was something I was ok with them playing. If I hadn’t played, I wouldn’t have known if there were things I don’t want them exposed to. Before I played, I didn’t know what they meant when they said “Oh they’re so sus!” (By the way, that means suspicious.)

I had seen many parents concerned about the chat feature, which was also a concern of mine. Playing allowed me to see how the feature was used and, for me, after playing it became less of a concern. Can the chat feature be misused? Absolutely. My daughter has mentioned people have used words we wouldn’t use in our house. But as for the concern that people would prey on my kids, that fear was alleviated after playing. The chat feature is only allowed as people are waiting for others to join and only during certain times in play.

If after playing, something was concerning to me, I feel like the fact that I had played gives me some credibility. It also gives me terminology to use in talking with them about it.

The second reason I think you should play is if you do decide to let your kids play, I think you’ll find it’s great family time! My kids loved teaching us how to play! There was definitely a learning curve for Matt and I but eventually we figured it out and had a lot of fun together. My kids enjoy playing with friends and FaceTiming while they play, so Matt and I were playing with several of their friends, too.

When we were putting our kids to bed, my son said “That was so much fun tonight!” I loved hearing that! Often times, virtual games can pull our kids away, but when we play together, it allows us a shared experience!

Do I think the game is for everyone? Nope! That’s your call! But I think making an informed decision is better than making a decision based off the unknown. Some parents may not be ok with elements of the game. And that is perfectly fine! Playing will give you insight into whether it’s good for your family! I think this goes for a lot of things – video games, TikTok, YouTube channels, etc. Jumping on and checking it out can help us make informed decisions for our kids.

Start A Conversation

Here are some questions you can ask your child to start a conversation about Among Us.

What do you enjoy about playing Among Us?
Is there anything that makes you feel uncomfortable?
Help me understand how the game works.
Will you show me how to play?
What does [sus, gg, vented, tasks] mean?

Oceans: A Parent’s Prayer

Early this morning, before everyone else was awake, I was having my quiet time. I turned on some worship music and I was journaling out my prayers and I got to a point that I was praying for my children. 2020 has brought new parenting challenges with homeschooling, friendships, racism, politics and other social issues.

I wrote, “Lord, I pray that you would give them your wisdom and discernment. I pray that you would strengthen their faith and trust in you and that it would be greater than the pull of the world. May their faith become their own and not ours.”

As I was journaling these prayers, the thought crossed my mind that 30 years ago, my mom was sitting in her quiet time, praying these same things over me and my siblings. And yet, some of my siblings have chosen to walk away from the Christian faith. “Praying for them doesn’t ensure anything,” was whispering in my head. I started getting overwhelmed with the future and everything that my children could face or choose.

In that moment, “Oceans” by Hillsong United began playing. A song that has meant so much to us in our transitions and moves. But today, I heard the words differently. I listened to them from a parent’s point of view and it brought peace and perspective.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail

Parenting is nothing but the unknown. There are no manuals and each child is different. Rilyn, being our oldest, is the trailblazer into parenting. Every stage is new for us and brings challenges we’ve never had to deal with so we are winging it the best we can. But just because we’ve dealt with something with Rilyn, doesn’t mean what we’ve learned will necessarily apply to Landon because he is so different from her. What may have worked with her doesn’t work for him. And then there’s the different stages of sending them off – to Kindergarten, to middle school, to high school and off to college. Each one is new and unknown.

And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

“God wanted his people throughout the world to know the glorious riches of this mystery–which is Christ living in you, giving you the hope of glory.” (Colossians 1:27) No matter what we face, no matter the struggle we have Christ living in us. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us. We can stand firm in that even when we are standing on shaky ground.

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves

This is key in parenting as Christians. We need to constantly be calling upon the name of Jesus to give us wisdom, discernment, empathy and compassion. When the waves of uncertainty or hard things begin to crash around us, we must keep our eyes on Jesus. I think this is also important for our kids learning to make their faith their own. When they see us leaning on Jesus and seeking him out, they learn to do that themselves.

When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace

My mom often quotes Jennifer Rothschild when she says, “It may not be well with my circumstances, but it is well with my soul.” This is what hope in Jesus looks like! Jesus never promises easy. Jesus never promises we won’t face pain. But he does promise peace. He does promise joy. He does promise rest and hope. It is possible to experience pain and peace. Suffering and strength. Heartache and hope.

Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide

This is where spending time in the Bible and prayer is so important! God shows us how to live with wisdom and discernment. He teaches us how to treat our children and others. The Bible is full of wisdom and practical applications. We just need to spend time reading it to know God’s heart! The Bible app is a great resource and has lots of great studies and devotionals. My mom’s book No More Perfect Moms has a study on the Bible app. Another good place to start is reading a chapter of Proverbs each day. Whatever day of the month it is, read that chapter. Or read through Luke to learn more about Jesus.

You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

This line is what gives me so much hope! God has never failed. He’s the creator of all things and triumphs over all hardships. Yes, bad things happen but that’s part of living in a fallen world. That’s not because of God’s character.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

We need to rely on the Holy Spirit as we walk through the challenges and unknowns of parenting our children. Trusting that God loves our children more than we can, which is so hard to imagine! Often times, we are prompted to say “Yes” to something that may seem impossible on our own – but that’s exactly what we need sometimes! Because it’s when we can’t do it on our own that God’s glory is made known!

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger

I think this is the most daring prayer and, to be honest, one I’m scared to pray at times. As a 6 on the enneagram, I make decisions based on safety. I think of all of the possible outcomes and choose the safest one. Praying “take me deeper than my feet could ever wander” takes courage. Moving into territory that I may not be able to control takes trust. Trusting in the One who has all things under control. And that’s exactly what we do as parents. We send them off into life, hoping they make good friends and make good choices. When we face difficult or overwhelming situations, we have two choices: trust that God is in control and his goodness will prevail or try to manage it all in our own strength. Our faith has the opportunity to grow stronger in those times.

I am Yours and You are mine

This truth is most important. Our children’s choices are not a reflection of who we are. We are children of God first and foremost. That is where our identity rests. It’s important that we not take their choices personally. Does that mean we don’t redirect or discipline? Absolutely not! But when correction is called for, it’s more about their character and not about how it made us feel or look as parents.

This song caused my prayer time to move from a place of anxiety and fear of what is to come to a place of peace, trust and hope. It gave me fresh perspective about parenting with purpose and I hope it does the same for you!

Friendship Takes Time

I began attending MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) when Rilyn was six months old. I really didn’t have any “mom” friends and was craving same season friendship. My mom was going to be speaking at a local MOPS group in a few months and I wanted to attend incognito for a while. I wanted them to know me for me and not for who my mom was. I was the only one with an infant at my assigned table and so at times I felt like I didn’t belong. I questioned whether or not I should continue to attend, as I didn’t seem to have much in common with these women because our children were in different stages of life. I decided to stick it out, and as the year continued I learned a lot from these women but never found a connection of friendship.

It took me three years to find my Strawberry Pink girls. Our table just clicked, all eleven of us. We shared tears, laughter, struggles, and encouragement. We rallied around the friend whose husband was deployed, encouraged the friend whose husband was living and working in a different state, and supported the friend whose son was killed in an accident. We prayed for one another, played in each other’s homes, and had girls night outs together. These friends held me up when my dad went through a midlife crisis and left for a few months. I had never experienced friendship like this and was relishing in it.

The following year, I moved away and was brokenhearted to leave these dear friends I had made. Facebook has been great in keeping us connected, and several of us make attending the Hearts at Home conference our annual reunion. I am so grateful I stuck it out with MOPS even when I wasn’t initially getting the deep connection I desired. I’ve learned that connection takes time. In our “instant” society, we are often inclined to believe that great friendship happens just as fast as “Confirm” is pressed on a Facebook friend request. That’s not the way it is in real life. Friendships take time to find and nurture. Then once we connect, it’s both the highs and lows of life that make us better together.

How about you? Have you given up too easily when you didn’t find instant connection with a group?

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Neighborhood Block Party

I think it’s safe to say spring weather is officially here to stay! Our neighborhood has started becoming active again with the sound of lawn mowers and friendly waves at people walking by. But let’s be honest, how well do you know the people you live by? In a world of garage door openers, its far too easy to pull into your garage, shut the door and never make any connections.

When a job change took us to a new city, we tried to make connections with our neighbors but we weren’t having much success aside from one or two of them. No one seemed interested in the act of neighboring. So we decided to take matters into our own hands and host a block party! We created an invitation and knocked on each door of the neighbors on our block to personally invite them.

I considered the block party a success when, out of twenty-five houses, we had eleven represented. We learned about one another’s families and learned a little bit of history about the neighborhood. Several of our neighbors have lived here for close to fifty years and they kept telling us how wonderful it was to get together and that no one had ever done anything like this. One neighbor even told me, “I’ve lived in my house for fifty years and I’ve never met any of my neighbors.”

Being intentional about fostering relationships in your neighborhood is a benefit for you and your neighbors! Have you ever considered hosting or organizing a block party? If not, I encourage you to put a date on the calendar right now. Matt and I decided to do it again this year, but instead of August, doing it in June to allow for more connections over the summer.

Something as simple as an intentional gathering of neighbors can make your neighborhood a better place to live.

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Status: No Margin

Over the last few weeks, I have been processing this concept of “margin” in my life. Actually its more than just processing, God has been hammering me with it!

You see, anxiety and a lack of margin go hand-in-hand. When I begin to notice the margin in my life narrowing, I also notice it has a direct influence on the number and severity of anxiety attacks.